Dear Lucky Miller,
You are not the only person who believes the world has become impersonal. No one stops to say hello, no one really cares to give a helping hand. Being friendly is more of a weakness isn’t it? Making small talk leads to people rolling eyes and making that face – you know the kind that tells you that you’re wasting their time, the look that means “I’m bored.” It’s a loud and clear look; it’s something that we now try to avoid.
Why make personal experiences when people just want to come and go? It’s like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland
I don’t really believe that the city is ugly –nor is it beautiful. We all view it from a distorted lens, some of us see the disconnected world, people who haven’t got the time, high rollers who are too good for those below, people in the middle who don’t feel self-important enough to make conversation, and those in the low, struggling to get by and being stepped over (too bitter to stop and be concern, to be friendly.) And some of us see a beautiful city, with rare glimpses of people who reach out and care, people who will ask you how you are (and genuinely want to know how you are), people who are kind, people who stop –stop to recognize people and the city.
Is it really become such a task to turn to one another and make small talk, make any sort of conversation? I wonder, does anyone think it matters? Perhaps, like your memory with the grocery, being a personal kind of person (the kind of person who gives attention to be friend, not to invade personal space) is helpful, is wanted by someone. Do you ever think if you’d stop to say hello or how are you, that you’d make a persons day? I bet a lot of people don’t question or think about that. Even I’m guilty of that, although I’ve always tried to, to be kind or nice, or whatever it is that is the opposite of impersonal. Not personal, not in your business, not nosy, but not distant. That’s what people need to learn to do.
I’ve worked in a grocery store as well. You’re trained to say hello, how are you. Some people give you that infamous look, even though you’re just doing your job. Some people look annoyed. Some people give you that look that simply translates to “Shut up.” Some people think, “Just shut up and ring up my stuff, I didn’t come here to talk to you.” Even I’ve thought that. Everyone has. But I think that’s what makes the world a little sadder, a little uglier. I’ve had people thank me for asking them how they’re day went, I’ve had people smile and I’ve had people tell me that they didn’t know that there were still people in the world who tried to make conversation with complete strangers (even if it was small talk, even if it was a brief meeting.) I’ve had people say that it makes them feel like the world is a little better knowing that someone has ‘manners’ – I’ve never thought it was manners, I always thought it was polite.
But some people don’t appreciate it. Some people rather go on being impersonal, not connecting to others at all. Some people want to disengage from the world. Others fight against it and I think you are one of those people. Someone who appreciates every relationship you come across in your life, whether it’s a professional one or a relationship of a different kind.
Disengaging from the world is why we are unable to unify, unable to understand, unable to tolerate other people and their opinions. If we cannot handle being told hello in a grocery store, how can we handle people’s opinions and lifestyles? How can we connect? This is the age of isolation, we push ourselves away from the human race. Isolation is what breaks down societies; it’s what leads to downfalls and war. Isolation, is a broad term in this sense, it can mean isolating yourself because you think you are better or maybe it is because you think you aren’t good enough.
You sound like you’d rather be naïve and young, to not care about the side of the street where reality lives. But I think its better that you see how the world is because it gives you a chance to change it. I’ve always thought it’s better to know what life is like so I can improve it. I don’t want to live in a world of isolation. I don’t want to disengage. Neither do you and I think that makes us older than we really are, in a sense mature and in a way, quite worldly.
However in these times, it’s easy to pretend to be connected. No one really talks anymore, not with text messaging and computers, it’s the era of technology but technology just pushes us further apart, doesn’t it? While it can bring people together, it can also make us more impersonal. We don’t socialize, not as much, not in real life anymore. Some of us do, some of us don’t, and some of us simply cannot because of those who don’t socialize.
One day, I think it’ll go back, a reversal, where people will change how they act or react to others and that we’ll be able to all be, not happily ever after, but closer. Closer as a society, closer as a race. Not races but race as in the human race. We will learn that even the smallest connections to people count for something, whether that something be good or bad is up to the person experiencing it.
We’ll go back to the days where you could playfully chase someone with a feather duster and not be scolded or looked at with wrong intentions. We’ll be able to say, your child is cute without getting (or giving) that look, the bad look, as if you’ve done something wrong. We’ll be able to ask how are you, hello, and hold a conversation instead of pushing our fellow man away. The city will act more like a small town and that is not a bad thing.
Until that day, there will be those (like us) who wonder why people act this way and when it will change. It’s good to know you’re not alone.
Sincerely,
Ashley Miranda.
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