Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
interview with a female victim of child abuse
Frandes, Maria Magdalena, interviewee and victim of child abuse. 7 November 2009
Magdalena is a 28-year’s old half-Romanian and half-Hungarian girl. Her parents both commit suicide when she was eight years old. Then her uncle’s family adopted her. Both her uncle and the uncle’ wife were alcoholics so she lived ten years of physical and mental abuse with this new family. She is going to explain how that felt in her interview.
1. What kind of child abuse/child neglect did you experience in your childhood?
When I was still a baby my birth parents would go to work and leave me and my younger brother in the house by ourselves, locked in an empty room with no water and no food, they would feed us when they got home, which was at least after eight hours of work. They never abused me, but they died when I was nine years old. I was adopted and my foster parents abuse me by beating me with a belt, on my naked body whenever they considered that I did something stupid. Another abuse is them sending be to crapy bars to buy them alcohol during the day time and sometimes at midnight.
2. How old were you when the abuse started?
When the neglect started, I was a baby, probably 2 or 3 years old, and when the abuse started, I was 9-ish.
3. How did abuse affect you then and how does it affect you now?
When they used to beat me, I used to scream and cry loudly and I was ashamed that the neighbors would hear me.
Now, I don’t know how it affects me, I think I am normal, but there was a time when I used to hate them, not for only these things but for more. I guess I forgive them, but still, I am not calling them as often as a normal child should call his/her parents.
4. Did you realize or comprehend that you were experiencing abuse?
I thought that was normal; I was to young to understand these things, and besides, in Romanian society I wasn’t the only one, most of the kids in my city were and still are abused. When I grew some more, I knew it was an abuse, but there was nothing I could do to change the past, but to forgive and forget.
5. Were you aware of any institutions and did you seek help?
The only institution I was aware of was the foster homes, but I always heard and knew that those places were a lot worst, and you couldn’t have the freedom as you could have “home”.
Magdalena is a 28-year’s old half-Romanian and half-Hungarian girl. Her parents both commit suicide when she was eight years old. Then her uncle’s family adopted her. Both her uncle and the uncle’ wife were alcoholics so she lived ten years of physical and mental abuse with this new family. She is going to explain how that felt in her interview.
1. What kind of child abuse/child neglect did you experience in your childhood?
When I was still a baby my birth parents would go to work and leave me and my younger brother in the house by ourselves, locked in an empty room with no water and no food, they would feed us when they got home, which was at least after eight hours of work. They never abused me, but they died when I was nine years old. I was adopted and my foster parents abuse me by beating me with a belt, on my naked body whenever they considered that I did something stupid. Another abuse is them sending be to crapy bars to buy them alcohol during the day time and sometimes at midnight.
2. How old were you when the abuse started?
When the neglect started, I was a baby, probably 2 or 3 years old, and when the abuse started, I was 9-ish.
3. How did abuse affect you then and how does it affect you now?
When they used to beat me, I used to scream and cry loudly and I was ashamed that the neighbors would hear me.
Now, I don’t know how it affects me, I think I am normal, but there was a time when I used to hate them, not for only these things but for more. I guess I forgive them, but still, I am not calling them as often as a normal child should call his/her parents.
4. Did you realize or comprehend that you were experiencing abuse?
I thought that was normal; I was to young to understand these things, and besides, in Romanian society I wasn’t the only one, most of the kids in my city were and still are abused. When I grew some more, I knew it was an abuse, but there was nothing I could do to change the past, but to forgive and forget.
5. Were you aware of any institutions and did you seek help?
The only institution I was aware of was the foster homes, but I always heard and knew that those places were a lot worst, and you couldn’t have the freedom as you could have “home”.
interview with male victim of child abuse
Kelava, Nanko, interviewee and victim of child abuse. 21 November 2009
Nanko is a 33 years old male from Serbia who experienced child neglect and abandonment in his childhood, but the reason I chose to use his interview in my paper is a different one. He also has a 6 years old son who he cant’s see or be part of his life (because his son is back in Serbia and Nanko immigrated in America a year ago), but his son is experiencing physical child abuse and neglect and his father is not doing anything about it.
1. Have you experienced abuse or neglect in your childhood?
Yes, I have. My parents did not care much about me I guess their parents did not care much for them. Sometimes I felt more like a burden then a child who's supposed to be loved by my parents.
2. If yes, how did affect u then and how it affects you now?
Back then, it did not affect me so much because I thought that it is supposed to be like that but as I was growing up, I saw that it's not. How does it affect me now?.... I hardly ever talk to my dad (mom died).
3. You are a parent now. Have you abused/neglect your child?
I did neglect my child, not so much abuse.
4. If yes, why?
Not sure .Maybe because it all happened when I was too young and had a child with a woman I did not even like. Not having a steady job, no money and constant fighting with her just puts a child in…I think all of that just puts a child in another plan.
5. Do you think that because you were abused as a child, you became an abusive/neglective parent?
No. I think that for all the reasons above I neglected my kid. When your life is not going the way you want it to go, not even close and you have millions of problems somehow you just put a child in another plan. Not intentionally but you do.
Nanko is a 33 years old male from Serbia who experienced child neglect and abandonment in his childhood, but the reason I chose to use his interview in my paper is a different one. He also has a 6 years old son who he cant’s see or be part of his life (because his son is back in Serbia and Nanko immigrated in America a year ago), but his son is experiencing physical child abuse and neglect and his father is not doing anything about it.
1. Have you experienced abuse or neglect in your childhood?
Yes, I have. My parents did not care much about me I guess their parents did not care much for them. Sometimes I felt more like a burden then a child who's supposed to be loved by my parents.
2. If yes, how did affect u then and how it affects you now?
Back then, it did not affect me so much because I thought that it is supposed to be like that but as I was growing up, I saw that it's not. How does it affect me now?.... I hardly ever talk to my dad (mom died).
3. You are a parent now. Have you abused/neglect your child?
I did neglect my child, not so much abuse.
4. If yes, why?
Not sure .Maybe because it all happened when I was too young and had a child with a woman I did not even like. Not having a steady job, no money and constant fighting with her just puts a child in…I think all of that just puts a child in another plan.
5. Do you think that because you were abused as a child, you became an abusive/neglective parent?
No. I think that for all the reasons above I neglected my kid. When your life is not going the way you want it to go, not even close and you have millions of problems somehow you just put a child in another plan. Not intentionally but you do.
Interview with victim of child abuse
Budimirovich, Natasha, interviewee and victim of child abuse. 21 November 2009
Natasha is 31 years old Croatian girls who immigrate in America ten years ago. She spent the first 20 years of her life in Croatia with her mother and brother. Her parents divorced when she was ten. Things changed in her life after her parents divorced, and she explains how in a short interview/confession.
1. What kind of child abuse/child neglect did you experience in your childhood?
First, I felt neglected by my father who left when I was 4. Even though we were in contact, we never developed a relationship where I would feel safe to confine in him. My mother, on the other hand was mentally abusive to me and my brother. She was a single working parent, and even though she did all in her power to raise two children, the stress of her life would be released upon us. She would many times compare my brother and me to our father, whom she hated. I felt as I war worthless and hated sometimes from her. When we got into our teen years, she would say that us and our father were the ones who destroyed her life. So as I was growing up, I felt like I was a mistake and in the way of her happiness.
2. How old were you when the abuse started?
I was just starting school, so around 6 or 7.
3. How did abuse affect you then and how does it affect you now?
Back then, I felt as if that's how life is supposed to be. I found a shelter from our domestic abuse in my friends, whom I held more precious and important than my parents. I put my friends in front of me, in front of everything. I had problems interacting with strangers, even if they were our neighbors or new kids in school. I was very closed down into myself and I always thought that kids with both parents who did everything together were the luckiest kids. My parents always argued and I don't remember 4 of us ever being together, not even having a conversation. I also had minor problems in school, like focusing and figuring out why was I even going to school. Today, I see some of these early problems in me. I grew up being extremely shy (which is fading away with years), mistrusting, and clinging to my friends, being afraid of loneliness and being left alone in general. For the longest time I felt as if I wasn't worth of even breathing the air with everyone else, I felt like I will never find peace inside myself. I realize today that family is such an important backbone of one's life. If I feel lonely or sad or even suicidal, I don't have any words of wisdom from my mom or dad that they could have given me while I was growing up. I fell like everything I know I thought myself.
4. Did you realize or comprehend that you were experiencing abuse?
Not at first. I felt that everything my mother told me was true and that's how it was supposed to be. I thought of abuse as only physical. My father never physically hit me, and all my peers were physically abused by their fathers, so I actually felt lucky because of that. I wasn't aware how mental abuse will leave me later in life. Next to the physical abuse, my mom made an emotional cripple out of both my brother and me by being negative to us all our lives. She
isn't alive anymore and she asked me if I could forgive her for all the bad she did to us when we were little. I did.
5. Were you aware of any institutions and did you seek help?
I wasn't aware of any institutions. I ran to my friends to find shelter. I always hated going home from school and wished I could just be somebody else’s child.
Natasha is 31 years old Croatian girls who immigrate in America ten years ago. She spent the first 20 years of her life in Croatia with her mother and brother. Her parents divorced when she was ten. Things changed in her life after her parents divorced, and she explains how in a short interview/confession.
1. What kind of child abuse/child neglect did you experience in your childhood?
First, I felt neglected by my father who left when I was 4. Even though we were in contact, we never developed a relationship where I would feel safe to confine in him. My mother, on the other hand was mentally abusive to me and my brother. She was a single working parent, and even though she did all in her power to raise two children, the stress of her life would be released upon us. She would many times compare my brother and me to our father, whom she hated. I felt as I war worthless and hated sometimes from her. When we got into our teen years, she would say that us and our father were the ones who destroyed her life. So as I was growing up, I felt like I was a mistake and in the way of her happiness.
2. How old were you when the abuse started?
I was just starting school, so around 6 or 7.
3. How did abuse affect you then and how does it affect you now?
Back then, I felt as if that's how life is supposed to be. I found a shelter from our domestic abuse in my friends, whom I held more precious and important than my parents. I put my friends in front of me, in front of everything. I had problems interacting with strangers, even if they were our neighbors or new kids in school. I was very closed down into myself and I always thought that kids with both parents who did everything together were the luckiest kids. My parents always argued and I don't remember 4 of us ever being together, not even having a conversation. I also had minor problems in school, like focusing and figuring out why was I even going to school. Today, I see some of these early problems in me. I grew up being extremely shy (which is fading away with years), mistrusting, and clinging to my friends, being afraid of loneliness and being left alone in general. For the longest time I felt as if I wasn't worth of even breathing the air with everyone else, I felt like I will never find peace inside myself. I realize today that family is such an important backbone of one's life. If I feel lonely or sad or even suicidal, I don't have any words of wisdom from my mom or dad that they could have given me while I was growing up. I fell like everything I know I thought myself.
4. Did you realize or comprehend that you were experiencing abuse?
Not at first. I felt that everything my mother told me was true and that's how it was supposed to be. I thought of abuse as only physical. My father never physically hit me, and all my peers were physically abused by their fathers, so I actually felt lucky because of that. I wasn't aware how mental abuse will leave me later in life. Next to the physical abuse, my mom made an emotional cripple out of both my brother and me by being negative to us all our lives. She
isn't alive anymore and she asked me if I could forgive her for all the bad she did to us when we were little. I did.
5. Were you aware of any institutions and did you seek help?
I wasn't aware of any institutions. I ran to my friends to find shelter. I always hated going home from school and wished I could just be somebody else’s child.
Monday, December 7, 2009
SJD Project by Jawhar
This is my Social Justice Documentation Project. It's an interview with Dr. Ahmad who is American guy with a Palestinian background.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j9ZLxzJS-4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j9ZLxzJS-4
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