I interviewed a girl named Bari Weiss who is nineteen years old. When I came to her about this assignment, she thought this was a good thing because she wanted to talk about the trouble she felt while coming out to her parents and how people judged her. She wanted others to know that even though you may feel alone that it is okay to be who you are.
When was the first time you knew you were a lesbian? You do not need to go into specifics if you do not want to.
(Laughs) Well, I first knew when I was in high school. It was a confusing time in my life. School was getting harder for me and to think that I was a lesbian was just absurd at first to me. I used to have guy friends all the time growing up in middle school and junior high. I dated them and kissed them, and then to realize that I was just not that into them anymore I guess was so weird for me. They did not give me that feeling in my stomach anymore that got me excited to see them like you probably get with Matt. (I earlier just told her I had a boyfriend because we were catching up because we do not talk that much anymore.) Any who, I really first knew when I met this girl Jen in high school. I knew her from softball and I knew her family but I did not know if she felt the same way I did about her and I was scared to find out.
What did you do? I mean, how did you find out if she liked you?
I actually just went in for it. I wrote her a note so it would not be as blunt, but it said stuff like, I like you and I know it is weird for me too that I like girls but let me know how you feel. Sure enough, she did want to get to know me better so we starting just hanging out like friends, nothing special at first.
Did you tell anyone else, such as your friends or family, that you guys were more than just friends?
In the beginning, we did not tell anyone because we did not know how anyone would take it. Besides, we were just having fun and this was not anything serious anyways. I mean, I just kind of figured out I was a lesbian myself. How did I know that a month later or something, I wasn’t going to be a straight person again and if I said something to soon, I could be making a big deal out of nothing. The whole thing was a mess so we did not tell anyone. (Laughs).
How did you eventually tell your friends and family?
It is funny when people ask me that because people think I went around shouting, “Hey guys guess what? I’m a lesbian!!” (Laughs). That is not how it worked. My friends starting hinting on the fact that I spent most of my time with Jen and saw me holding hands with her. That pretty much clued them in that I liked Jen. None of them actually had a problem because they knew me and cared for me as a person, and liking girls did not matter to them. Of course, sometimes we would have inside jokes about me being gay, but I can laugh at myself so it was fine, and they were not doing it in a mean way. Now, my family on the other hand, I did not tell them until end of high school. I was scared that they would think differently of me. Turns out, my mom already kind of knew because she saw me kiss Jen one time. My mom told me she did not want to tell me she knew because she wanted me to come out and tell her when I was comfortable.
Everyone, including your family sound very comfortable and okay with your sexuality. Do you ever meet people who are not like that, and what do you say to them?
I usually do not tell people that I do not know I am a lesbian, but if other people see me kiss a girl, they sometimes give me a disgust look. Most people do not even care these days because I think that exploring your sexuality is the norm these days and half these people I could care less what they think of me. Lesbians and gays have mostly come to the realization that we will do what we want because we are normal people who just like the same sex…big deal. Maybe one day we will be looked upon as if we are equal to heterosexuals but until then, we will continue to make noise and fight.
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