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Dear Stan Lenard,

First and foremost I would like for you to understand that you are not the only one who is struggling to keep a secret from loved ones. There are plenty of people everywhere who are hiding something to the point that it drives them insane. I can see how it can be very stressful, but you seem to be dealing with it very well and I find that shocking and somewhat of a concern.
I cannot imagine dealing with such a burden. I liked how you put it when you said you would rather laugh through the jokes and the pain than jump off the bridge on Michigan Avenue. Many people choose the other way out and that is a shame.
Although you have a very optimistic view on things, it really must be an abandoned feeling to keep such an unfathomable secret from your family. Just knowing that they would be upset if you were to let them know about your sexuality makes it that much harder for you.
I get a sense that you have some sort of guard up and you are having a difficult time with allowing your emotions show. From your experience with the female sex you have not had much luck which may have knocked you down, and it seems as if you are giving up on the opportunity of love. I recognize you have been shut down and the feeling can be unbearable. You, being a very considerate person, probably do not want to put someone else through what you felt.
You mentioned that loneliness gets worse as time goes on, but you are still at a considerably young age. What do you plan on doing if your optimistic views turn pessimistic? I understand theatre gives you a sense of feeling happy and successful, but is that really all that could make you happy? Do you ever think of moving out on your own and informing your family of your homosexuality?
It is a new era now and things are becoming more acceptable than they once were, especially homosexuality. You need to accept the fact that you are a homosexual and take pride in it instead of admitting it is wrong. If you can’t accept it than how would you ever expect your mother to accept it? I am not implying you need to rant and rave or that you should get a rainbow tattooed across your back. I am simply saying you should be proud of whom you are and you should not let your family’s reaction worry you.
Once again I want to guarantee you that you are not by yourself in this situation. There are plenty of groups and organizations that may help you become more at ease with your sexuality. With that said, I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out for you the best way it possibly can.

Sincerely,
Jessica Lynch