For my Oral History project I decided to interview my friend about his coming out story. During

the interview he was able to talk about more than how he came out, he ended up talking about

his family’s reaction to the abusive relationship he was in. I interviewed my friend using Yahoo

Instant Messenger. Bellow is the IM conversation.

gryfindor2588: how old were you when you came out?

dee8817: I was 18

gryfindor2588: what made you decide you were ready?

dee8817: I wasn't ready to come out of the closet. My dad saw gay porn on the computer. He

asked me what it was. I told him I was watching it. He asked me if I was gay, and I said yes.

dee8817: they didn't believe

dee8817: me until I had my first boyfriend

dee8817: and then that's when it all fell down hill.

gryfindor2588: how did it fall down hill?

dee8817: My parents called me filth and really mean names. I couldn't even see my boyfriend

because they were so angry. Eventually we broke up and I've been single every since then.

dee8817: For months

dee8817: I was blaming myself

dee8817: like this is my fault

dee8817: and I went into deep

dee8817: depression

dee8817: I cried a lot

dee8817: and decided

dee8817: I didn't want to eat anymore

dee8817: to punish myself

gryfindor2588: how do your parents treat you now?

dee8817: they try to ignore it

dee8817: and I push them away

dee8817: so

dee8817: its kind of a ghost faced relationship

gryfindor2588: so no one talks about it in your family?

dee8817: No

gryfindor2588: do u have other family members that know

dee8817: My cousins from cali know I'm gay

gryfindor2588: and how are they about it?

dee8817: well my cousin George is a jerk. He sort of came out around the same time as me. He's

bipolar and makes very bad decisions. My cousin fiona was cool with it. Although she was

uncomfortable about it.

gryfindor2588: is George the one you said blamed you for the abusive relationship you were in?

dee8817: yes

dee8817: he said its my fault

dee8817: and I deserve

dee8817: to get beat up

gryfindor2588: how did your parents react to your abusive relationship? did they know about it?

dee8817: they never knew about it because I was in cali

dee8817: not chicago

gryfindor2588: do they know now?

dee8817: no I feel like that's a part of my life I don't think they should be part of

gryfindor2588: i understand

dee8817: I mean we all have masks that we don't want to reveal

what's on the other side, and that's how I feel about this